IQ and EQ

IQ - Intelligence Quotient

EQ - Emotional Quotient, also know as EI - Emotional Intelligence.

We live in a world where IQ rules. Babies are encouraged to 'show off' how bright they are, toddlers are sat in front of educational DVDs that are supposed to increase their intelligence and children are judged on their work, as soon as they get into school.

EQ/EI is a newer understanding of brain function and it's significance in human behaviour is still underestimated, undervalued and undertaught. As too many elements of society appear to stay infantalised and increasingly unhappy, this needs to be addressed.

By the time a child reaches their teenage years, they will have a well developed belief as to whether they are 'intelligent' or 'stupid'. This belief will have been formed on the information they have received from their teachers, parents, siblings and peer group. It may well be in conflict to the reality. Many people, who are on paper 'intelligent', think they are stupid and many people labelled 'stupid' have an inkling that they may not be. Lives are spent battling with beliefs well past their sell by date.

What they do with this belief as they chronologically, physically and intellectually grow up into adulthood, will all depend on how well they emotionally grow up.

A classic story I often tell, comes from a workshop I held in Australia in 2004. At the end, a middle aged man with depression, said, " Now I understand. When I was at primary school, a teacher would stand behind me and say, "Collins, you are slow, but sure. Slow to learn and sure to fail". As a result whenever I've looked at starting anything in life, I've always thought I'd fail, so didn't attempt anything." No wonder he'd had life full of depression up to that point.

I don't know what Mr Collin's IQ was, but I am sure that he was capable of achieving something that would give him satisfaction and use his innate resources. I do know though, that his EQ wasn't all it could be. Some of his emotional brain was stuck as that frightened small boy in school. As an adult he hadn't learnt to stop being emotionally hijacked by the childhood memories and 'grow up'.

I will be returning to this particular angle of emotional maturity over the weeks. I have mentioned it today because of two very different news reports.

1. Dr Edward Erin has been imprisoned for poisoning his pregnant lover, in an attempt to induce an abortion. At 44, Dr Erin was a hospital consultant, a lecturer, a clinical research fellow and ran a multi million pound property empire with his wife.

Dr Erin probably possesses a high IQ.

The judge said, "the trial process has exposed you, stripped off your flummery, as a liar, a cheat and a predator. One part of you is a doctor caring for his patients. But the other part is self centered, vainglorious and irresponsible. It is no surprise that in addition to your chaotic emotional life, your clinical research is under scrutinity as lacking depth and validity. You are clever, but also devious and dishonest. You inhabited a fantasy world"

I suggest that Dr Erin possesses a lower EQ than IQ. It may or may not have anything to do with it, but Dr Erin's father is a leading chest consultant in Wales. Is Dr Erin an intelligent adult, but emotionally a little boy at times? I think so.

2. A well known anonymous call girl, with the psydonym of Belle de Jour, spent many years writing a blog called ' Diary of a London call girl'. Such was the fame of this blog, that there was a memoir published and a TV film made. No-one knew who she really was. Her blog was full of tales of a variety of sexual activities with hundreds of men at £300 a time.

Until this week. Belle de Jour has owned up to really being 34 year old Dr Brooke Magnanti, a neurotoxicologist and research scientist. Dr Magnanti says that as a medical student she decided that rather than get into debt, she would earn money as a call girl.

I suggest that Dr Magnanti possesses a lower EQ than IQ. It may or may not have anything to do with it, but Dr Magnanti's estranged father used drugs and call girls and introduced some of the girls to her when she was a teenager. Is she an intelligent adult, but emotionally a little girl at times? I think so.


©RitaLeaman2009