It had snowed over the previous weekend in the area (and much of the UK) and travelling to work was difficult. By Tuesday, the local radio phone-in was monopolised by calls about how inadequate the local council was in clearing the roads and pavements.
One call on Tuesday, which I just happened to catch when driving home, was from a 73 year old man, who had rung in to complain about all the negativity being expressed. 'Just get on with it, we've had it worse and be a good neighbour' was his theme. It certainly made a change from all the moaning.
One call on Tuesday, which I just happened to catch when driving home, was from a 73 year old man, who had rung in to complain about all the negativity being expressed. 'Just get on with it, we've had it worse and be a good neighbour' was his theme. It certainly made a change from all the moaning.
Maybe that call hit a nerve at Radio York? Later that afternoon, a programme assistant contacted me. They were going to make 'moaning' a light-hearted topic for Wednesday. Would I come on and talk about our need to moan?
So that's what I did.
Towards the end of the conversation with presenter, Jules Bellerby, he asked me about how I stop moaning. I mentioned not wanting to lose friends by always moaning. I was thinking of 'Blondie' at the time. The subject of a blog last month: http://emotionalgrowth.blogspot.com/2012/01/i-just-want-to-be-happy-how.html
Then I mentioned a little trick I used. It seems to have caught people's interest, so I will repeat it here as a self-help exercise.
It's a variation of some questions used in a therapy session. I might ask," Have you ever felt like this before?"and the answer would provide some information for further questions. Maybe around how the client managed those feelings and events at that time. It's a helpful way to uncover a client's resources, which in turn, may help towards finding solutions to their problem/s.
In 1986 I was unwell. I wrote about the illness in this blog: http://emotionalgrowth.blogspot.com/2011/08/youre-mental-no-i-am-not-i-have-virus.html
Since recovering from that illness, I have used Summer 1986, as a benchmark for judging how unwell I may feel in the present day and how to manage it.
The conversation with myself goes like this:
Q: "Is this the most unwell you have ever felt?"
A: No
Q: How did you get through that time?
I then explore a variety of memories that show me that the event passed and I survived.
Through the years, I have found it necessary to repeat this exercise with a variety of words, some examples follow:
Q: Is this the coldest/saddest/most tired/most anxious/most useless/unhappiest/most pain/angriest/most victimised... you have ever felt?"
Due to age and life events, the answer to most of the questions is 'No'.
I now have some perspective and clues as to how I can manage the present situation.
It's really Do-It-Yourself Cognitive Behaviour Therapy. Cheaper too.
Tell the unhelpful comments to 'GO AWAY'. Loudly and with feeling. I've removed the swear word, but you don't have to.
Listen carefully. The quality of life really can be down to the quality of the conversation you have with yourself.
©Ritaleaman2012
Then I mentioned a little trick I used. It seems to have caught people's interest, so I will repeat it here as a self-help exercise.
It's a variation of some questions used in a therapy session. I might ask," Have you ever felt like this before?"and the answer would provide some information for further questions. Maybe around how the client managed those feelings and events at that time. It's a helpful way to uncover a client's resources, which in turn, may help towards finding solutions to their problem/s.
In 1986 I was unwell. I wrote about the illness in this blog: http://emotionalgrowth.blogspot.com/2011/08/youre-mental-no-i-am-not-i-have-virus.html
Since recovering from that illness, I have used Summer 1986, as a benchmark for judging how unwell I may feel in the present day and how to manage it.
The conversation with myself goes like this:
Q: "Is this the most unwell you have ever felt?"
A: No
Q: How did you get through that time?
I then explore a variety of memories that show me that the event passed and I survived.
Through the years, I have found it necessary to repeat this exercise with a variety of words, some examples follow:
Q: Is this the coldest/saddest/most tired/most anxious/most useless/unhappiest/most pain/angriest/most victimised... you have ever felt?"
Due to age and life events, the answer to most of the questions is 'No'.
I now have some perspective and clues as to how I can manage the present situation.
It's really Do-It-Yourself Cognitive Behaviour Therapy. Cheaper too.
Tell the unhelpful comments to 'GO AWAY'. Loudly and with feeling. I've removed the swear word, but you don't have to.
Listen carefully. The quality of life really can be down to the quality of the conversation you have with yourself.
©Ritaleaman2012
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