Expecting the best. September

This morning I went downstairs, opened the back door and breathed in.


September 1st. It felt good.  


But why? It's not much different from yesterday.


The weather is still overcast and a bit chilly...again. Finances are still causing me a little concern. The pile of ironing is still too high. 


But yesterday was August. Another August of unfulfilled expectations of summer weather and associated activities. Yes, it had its high spots, but overall there was a feeling of disappointment. I don't think I'm alone.


Today though is different. It's September. The sweater that was needed yesterday and resented, now feels just right and cosy. The blackberries, changing leaf colour on the trees and wood smoke seemed out of place yesterday. Today they feel good.


We expect less of September than August, or, at least, something different. Generally our expectations are exceeded. I feel the same about the month of May too.


(For the readers elsewhere in the world, you may want to change the month. The observations remain the same.)


There's hope too. In the UK, September signals a new academic year. A year of the new, the unknown, the possibilities. Even decades later in adulthood, people will speak of those 'beginning of the new term' feelings. The new clothes, new pens and books. The feeling of being more grown-up. A little fearful too, maybe, but excited.


I'm an optimist. My mother is a pessimist, though dementia has removed that element of her cognitive powers.


Her argument for pessimism being a helpful state of mind,  was that she was never disappointed. 


My argument was that I had such fun imagining the best, even if there was disappointment at the end.


Optimism and Pessimism. Back to the Nature v Nurture?


All I know is, that when life has been at its grimmest, I have never failed to wake up with hope in my heart, even if it was dashed five minutes later. Tomorrow, literally, was another day.


In my own life, I believe that attitude has been a life saver. If I'd thought the worst on waking, I am not too sure that I would have survived. Of the many free 'gifts' we receive as human beings, I am most thankful for my optimism.


Where does emotional growth come in this thinking? 


In the main, our adult expectations are built on childhood foundations. If we carry positive childhood experiences with us into adult expectations, the risk of disappointment can be high. The experiences will not and cannot be the same, however hard we try.


If we carry negative childhood experiences into adult expectations, we can miss out on a great deal that life has to offer. We need to 'grow up' and learn to recognise and if needed, separate the emotions of the child and the adult.


Our brain is like a paint palette. We grow up with someone else holding the brush. In adulthood, we can take the brush and paint our own picture. 


I've seen too many people trying to live in someone else's picture. It doesn't work.


I've posted a new profile picture. This one was taken last month. The other one was taken in April 2009.


The picture is different. That was then. This is now.


©RitaLeaman2011