Depressed or emotionally stuck?

Marcus Trescothick. Not an easy name to say, but one that I was able to use to my advantage in 2005. He is a cricketer.


It was coming to the end of the famous 2005 Ashes series in cricket and England went on to win a tremendous victory on the last day. The match was a nail biter and Simon Mayo, a BBC 5Live radio presenter, asked for ways to keep calm. I ended up on radio talking through some simple relaxation exercises, including one using Marcus Trescothick's name. But that's another story, for another day.


In 2006, Marcus Trescothick hit the headlines for something else. He had to return from an overseas tour with a virus, but there were rumours that it was actually something else. It turned out not to be a virus, but a serious episode of depression. By 2006, I was formulating my ideas about emotional maturity and was interested in the background to the story.  I waited to read somewhere, that some childhood memory had been triggered. I felt it was inevitable.


The background story wasn't made public for a while, but when it came out, there was what I had been waiting for. Going on an overseas tour had reminded the adult Marcus, of a horrible time when he was 10 years old and sent away to school.  


The years have passed and Marcus was on a radio programme this week. Taking part in a discussion about cricketers and depression. There it was again. Marcus talking of being abroad and feeling that overwhelming misery that he'd felt as a 10 year old. He has carried on playing a major part in English county cricket, but his international playing days are over and have been for a while. An avoidable tragedy perhaps? For England and Marcus.


Medication and talking therapies have been a great help, but unless I'm mistaken, that frightened 10 year boy is still there, ready to hijack him, if ever he found himself in a similar situation. That's a shame and I believe preventable. He's not alone.


Little boy Marcus, appears to have been frightened going away to school. I have no idea what the background details are, but after a decade in practice, I would suggest that he felt 'not good enough' in some way. Maybe to be loved, to be given attention, to succeed with school work or sport, to have friends? I don't know, but that little boy does. 


The years rolled by, the little boy grew up to be a world class cricketer. Fortunately the cricket skills did not stay as those of a 10 year old.  Nor did his body, as he grew into a man. But a small part of his emotional brain was stuck. Stuck in a state of fear at 10 years old. From what I heard on the radio, I think it still may be. The frightened emotion of that time will have been imprinted on his immature brain and his brain will want to protect him from feeling like that again.  


What were the particular triggers in 2006? After all, he had toured for many years before 2006. Could having had a baby in 2005, a child of his own, be a clue?


Some time ago, I explained to a client that something similar may have happened to him. I explained that physically it would be like his whole body growing up into one of an adult, but his left foot remaining the size it was at the time he became a frightened little boy. "My God", he said, in a moment of clarity, " I have been emotionally limping through life."


Now, this is where I may upset a few people, but medication, while it helped with the Marcus's initial trauma,  does not appear to have solved the original problem. The Big Pharma's favourite words "chemical imbalance" were used.  Nice little earner, that one.  Talking therapies also appear to have helped, but not ultimately solved the problem. In fact may have even helped keep it place. "If you pick it, it won't get better." Another nice little earner.


I believe that the problem could be solved for good. Talking therapy? Yes, maybe. The correct talking therapy.  A therapy that may de-traumatise that hijacking emotion. One that focusses on allowing adult Marcus to reasssure the frightened little boy Marcus and leave him behind where he belongs.  In the last century, in 1986. Not to keep hijacking the present and future.


I stood outside the door of my practice in the street, saying good bye to a client. "Thank you so much", he said. "I came in here a boy and have left a man." I was only thankful no-one was passing at the time and wondered quite what I was doing behind the closed doors.


©RitaLeaman2011